How to Pick Your Fitness Goal and Focus on Your “Why”
Ever start a workout plan with all the motivation in the world—only to fall off two weeks later because life got busy, your goals felt fuzzy, or you weren’t sure what you were even chasing? Yeah, you’re not alone. Most women don’t quit because they’re lazy. They quit because they never had a clear “why” to begin with.
In this post, I’ll walk you through how to pick your fitness goal, figure out whether you care more about aesthetic or performance goals, and lock in your wellness why so you can finally stick with it—for good.
Step 1: Get Real About Where You’re Starting
Before you even set a goal, you need a reality check. Not in a mean way—just honest.
Are you brand-new to lifting?
Have you worked out before but never stuck with it?
Do you struggle more with nutrition, consistency, or confidence?
Beginner goals are different than advanced ones. If you’ve never really strength trained, your first “goal” isn’t about six-pack abs or running a marathon. It’s about learning proper form, building confidence in the gym, and showing up consistently.
👉 Beginner goal example: “I will strength train 3 times per week for the next 8 weeks to build consistency and confidence.”
Step 2: Decide Between Aesthetic vs. Performance Goals
Here’s where things get fun. Most women think they want aesthetic goals—flat stomach, “toned” arms, lifted glutes. And that’s totally valid! But performance goals (like hitting your first unassisted push-up or deadlifting your bodyweight) can often be more motivating long-term.
Aesthetic Goals
Defined by how you want to look
Examples: losing 10 lbs, toning arms, shrinking waist
Works best if paired with performance goals so you don’t burn out chasing the mirror
Performance Goals
Defined by what you want to do — surpassing a physical limitation or threshold
Examples: running a 5K, doing 5 pull-ups, squatting your bodyweight
Helps you feel strong, capable, and motivated beyond the scale
👉 Pro tip: You don’t have to choose just one. Pairing both is where the magic happens.
Step 3: Find Your “Wellness Why”
This is where most women mess up—they never dig deep enough. Saying “I just want to lose weight” won’t cut it when Friday night pizza is calling.
Ask yourself:
Why do I want this?
What will change in my life if I hit this goal?
Who else will benefit when I succeed?
Your wellness why should be bigger than your jean size. Maybe it’s having energy to play with your kids, proving to yourself you can follow through, or breaking the cycle of starting and quitting.
Write it down. Put it on your mirror. Repeat it when you want to skip a workout.
Step 4: Build a Plan That Matches Your Why
Once you’ve nailed your goal and your why, you need a plan that actually fits your life. No cookie-cutter, all-or-nothing routines.
Pick a workout split you can actually stick to (3x/week beats 6x/week if you’re a beginner).
Match nutrition to your goal—don’t starve yourself. (Check out my post: Macros Made Simple: A Beginner’s Guide for more.)
Track progress with performance markers (strength, endurance) and body changes. I use this tracker and it’s been great!
Remember, the goal is to build something sustainable—not to burn yourself out in 30 days.
Personal Story
When I first started lifting, I thought my only goal was to “get abs.” Spoiler: I didn’t. At least, not right away. What actually kept me going wasn’t the mirror—it was the moment I hit my first 120lb seated row — then that became 140lbs — then 160lbs. Seeing my level of strength progress over time, is exactly what I needed to prove to myself that it was actually “working” and I was in fact getting stronger.
I remember feeling unstoppable, like, “Okay, if I can do this, what else can I do?” That shift from purely aesthetic goals to performance-based ones changed everything. And here’s the funny part: once I focused on performance, my physique goals started falling into place naturally.
Quick Action List
Here’s your screenshot-friendly checklist:
Get honest about your starting point.
Pick one beginner goal (consistency > perfection).
Choose 1–2 aesthetic and/or performance goals.
Dig deep for your wellness why.
Create a plan that actually fits your life.
Ready to set your fitness goals and actually stick with them this time? Start by filling out my Wellform Coaching Questionnaire. I’ll send you a custom macro breakout, exercise plan and your Trainerize app login so you can begin tracking workouts and progress right away.
Picking your fitness goal and focusing on your “why” is the difference between another failed attempt and finally building the strong, confident, healthy life you want. Whether your focus is beginner goals, aesthetic vs. performance goals, or simply finding your wellness why—remember that your journey should feel empowering, not confusing. Your why will keep you grounded, and your goals will give you direction.
